Chapter 4: There's Never enough 'TIME'

                                                                                                                          October 28, 2011

Chapter 4:  There's Never Enough 'TIME'

      
       Do you fear DEATH?

(Wow, geez Mike, way to start off the chapter strong)

Ya, I know.  But really though...Do you fear DEATH? 

(This is the part where you answer in your head 'yes' or 'no')

Does a cold shiver run up your spine when you read that word?  Do you totally forget the meaning of the word and just keep reading the words I write? 

STOP!

Think...

Do you....fear....DEATH?

I know it's something you don't wanna think about because it really is scary and who the heck wants to think about it anyway?  So right now, I'm gonna kinda vier off the subject of....you know...and tell a litte story. 

I remember when we were kids.  My brothers and I.  And boy were we a prime example of your typical "children".  We could find ways to fight about ANYTHING. 

Brother 1:  "Hey guys, let's go downstairs and play."

Brother 2:  "NO, let's go play in the living room."

Brother 3:  "NOOO, let's go upstairs and play."

Brothers 1+2:  "WE DON'T EVEN HAVE AN UPSTAIRS!"

       See, we could turn ANYTHING into a fight.  We were your typical...boys.  And with each group of typical children, usually comes a typical "mom".  These mothers usually have a good understanding of how children usually act, especially three boys, and knows how to raise them.  Well our mother, like ourselves, was a PRIME example of the "typical mom" who knew exactly how to raise three "typical boys" correctly.  It's like she had done this in a past life or something and now she knows every move we make and every bad thing we do.  We never got away with ANYTHING.  Sometimes she even knew the bad decisions I would make before I even make them.  CRAAAZZZYYY.  That's our mother.  And we learned this part about her very quickly from all the times we got in trouble.  And I'm talking on like, a daily basis this would happen.  I mean she was soon known as "the punisher" from all of what we had done.  And boy were we afraid of her. 

       I remember this one specific time, me and my bros came home after school one day.  We usually had a couple hours of playtime before "the punisher" came home to tell us to go do our homework.  These times usually consisted of as much playtime as possible.  This one specific time, we had decided to play video games.  And of course, we took up a half hour of our time fighting over which game to play.  But in the end we decided on 'Crash Bandicoot'.  What we usually would do is after each person dies, one of us would hand over the controller to the other.  I remember it was my older brother's turn and being the bigger, older brother that he was, he decides to break the rules and do his own thing.  HE SKIPS A TURN.  

(No, no way, that aint gonna happen.  It's MY turn.  Just cause you suck at playing don't mean you get another chance) 

Ya, that's exactly what I was thinking to myself.  It aint happenin' bro.  Yet he continues to keep the controller to himself to the point where all of the sudden....

BOOM!!!

       I had wound up...and without any thought...without any hesitation...I had swung.  With every bit of power I had.  I nailed my brother right in the stomach and knocked him on the ground.  Boy, did he look like he was in pain.  And do you wanna know what my first thought was?  I'll be honest, I was very scared.  Here's my brother, lying on the ground....in PAIN...from my hands.  And my first thought was.........the "PUNISHER'S" COMING HOME!  Oh my gosh, mother would be home in minutes.  What would I do?  Run away from home?  Cover up the crime scene?  Wish that my brother would stop balling his eyes out over a wimpy hit?  I was afraid for MY life...not the one lying on the ground.  The pain I caused my brother was nothing compared to what was going to happen once mother came home.  And I remember the first words that came outa my mouth once I had commited the crime:

"Oh crap, Matt......please don't tell mom".

Ya, some brother I am (but I guess that made up for the time he kicked me so hard I almost hit the ceiling...no joke).  And of course, to finish up the story, let's just say I saw a new side of the punisher I had never seen before. 

       So, back to the real topic at hand.  Do you fear death?  I know I most certainly did when I had to tell my mother what I had done to my brother. 

       So here are the facts:  We've all been given one life.  Within that life, eighty years, roughly, some shorter than others.  This means you have eighty years to do what you gotta do and get outa here.  What, that's it?  Yeah, that's it.  Everything you wanna do in eighty years.  Well geez that's not enough time.  I still gotta finish up college, and go to Hawaii, and buy a house, and get married,and have kids,andgetmydreamjob, andgotodisneyworld,andspendallmymoneyonworthlessstuff. 

       Well then you better get a move on it. 

-OR-

       So you say "there's never enough time" right? 

       That's funny.  I just recently watched a movie called 'In Time'.  Pretty good flick.  The plot basically described what it would be like in a world where everything was 'bought' with TIME.  Think about that.  You want a coffee?  Two minutes...off your life.  You want to go somewhere?  It'll cost you your time. 

       But is it really that important?  "Time", that is.  Is it really important that we go about our days wondering if we have enough time to do this, or do that.  Who said that for one second you can't just stop.  Breathe.  Relaaaxxx. 

      I've been recently a little stressed out lately.  I just can't seem to get my priorities straight.  Work, school, this, that.  I wasn't made to handle all this.  There's just too much going on and my mind just isn't fast enough to keep up with everything.  It's as if there's not enough 'TIME' in the day to do everything I need to do.  I'd be late to work one day, or late to school the next.  Or forget something one day when I needed it yesterday.  "Where on earth can I find more time"? 

       There actually is an answer to that question.  But I don't think you're quite ready for it. 

       In the society we live in nowadays, it's very hard to find time to just sit back and take a little break from life.  It almost seems as if technology is moving too fast for itself.  We all wonder why old people drive slow, or why they have that slow mind, or why the heck they are just plain old "slow".  It's because they simply grew up where not everything moved this fast.  It didn't have to.  Life ran just great when you had to walk instead of drive, or make dinner instead of order fast food. It's was almost as if the "clock" actually ticked slower back then than it does now.  But it hasn't.  The clock still clicks at the same pace it always has.  So how the heck did those old people actually live without a cell phone?  Or a.....computer.  Shoot, how the heck would I even write this blog if I didn't have a computer?  It's strange to think about sometimes whether or not technology has brought a good thing to this world or if someday it will backfire on itself. 

      

       So do you still fear DEATH?  I knew I'd catch you offguard with that.  Here's a better question:  why do you fear something that's inevitable?  Think about it because, with TIME, comes DEATH.  These are both two things that you can not, and will never be able to control.  You can not stop time, you can not cheat death.  Instead, why not focus on the things that you CAN control.  Let's take a closer look:

DEATH=80years(time).  80years=29200days=700800hours=42048000minutes=2522880000seconds.

That's some math equation.  And you're tellin me you don't have enough time?  Have you ever thought about 'Hey, maybe it's not about having enough time'.  Well then what's it about? 

       Good question.  Since death is inevitable, and time cannot be altered or messed with, what is it that we can do to make our lives worth it?  I mean is it really all that fun being stressed out all the time, going from job to job, hopefully doing well enough just to make it by in life?  Would you really feel comfortable saying that at the end of your life, when you look back on everthing that you've done, everything that you're doing, what you're going through right now, do you really think you'd be able to say:  "yeah, I'm happy with the life I've lived". 

       If you really think that there's not enough time to do the things you wanna do, maybe you're trying to do the wrong things.  If you're trying to finish up everything before the time runs out, you need to re-think your strategy.  Because if you think that the purpose of life is to live for eighty years and try and get as much as you can in it that you can cram in, then maybe what you really need to do is feel what its like to only have a little time left.  That's when they say you figure out the truth about life. 

       If you really wanna know the truth about what it's like to be in a timeless world, go away.  Really, get out of here.  Go to a place where there are no clocks.  Go somewhere where there's absolutely no technology controlling you.  A place where death doesn't scare you.  Then you'll realize that it's not the fear of death or the lack of time you have in this world, it's about what you were meant to do with the time that is given to you.  And that's how you live a fearless life, in a timeless world.   

Chapter 3: Don't YELL at the T.V.

                                                                                                                         October 19, 2011

Chapter 3:  Don't YELL at the T.V.

So it's been a little while since I've seen the family and one Sunday afternoon my brother tells me that they're having a get-together for the fam.  So I decided to go.  I mean who could pass up a good old fashioned Browns game and a free meal (granted they were guaranteed to lose from the beginning), I just go for the company.  I showed up a little after the game had begun but I was the first to arrive so I didn't mind.  What's funny was what happened before I even entered my brothers apartment.  I walk up to his place and right before I go to knock on the door I hear a loud voice: 

      

           "OH MY GOSH, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?"     

         I stopped for a second and thought--uh oh, are him and the wife having a fight?  Did I come at a bad time? Should I wait to walk in?  But then I continued to listen and heard the rest of his rant--

           "CATCH THE BALL!" 

        (relieved)  Ok, so he's probably not talking to the wife...unless of course they're practicing for next months Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl.  So I then determined he must be yelling at the T.V.  I decide to knock in hopes not to get a "GO AWAY".  And to my surprise it was my brother who preceeded to answer the door.  A few minutes pass and the greetings are over....until all of the sudden...

         "YOU MISSED THE TACKLE BY A MILE, OH MY GOSH!" 

        At this point, I'm getting a little afraid for my life wondering if this cooped up aggresion coming from my brother would soon turn on me.  Yet, the wife kindly assured me that this tyrant of anger is unleashed every Sunday during every Browns game. 

        Low and behold for the next hour and a half the whole family would hear random bursts of outrage from my brother screaming at a television set in hopes that the players would do what he says.  What I thought was funny was the fact that by the end of the game, where all hope was basically lost, the bro would have allready started chearing against his own team in utter sarcasm.  I would hear random bursts of such phrases like:

          "GOOD JOB, WAY TO MISS THE BALL"-- or -- "HEY NICE FUMBLE CLEVELAND, YOU SHOULD DO ANOTHER JUST LIKE IT." 

        I actually find these acts of, what I call insanity, to be quite ammusing.  Here I sit watching my brother yell at a T.V. screen.  I just want to tell him that no matter how loud you yell, or how knowledgable in football you may be, they won't be able to hear you.  They had a plan going into the game and they stuck with it.  Granted there plan always seems to never workout but hey, that's Cleveland sports for ya. 

       Sometimes in life, there are times when we so frustrated with God because he just doesn't seem to deliver our plans that we had.  I can definetly say for myself that I have gotten upset with God simply because I thought I had this great "gameplan" made out for my life yet he wouldn't give me the ball and let me run with it.  I would constantly yell at him saying what I thought to be the best play to run yet it just felt like God would always call an audible (in football, this would be considered a quick change in the play the team is about to run).   What we don't realize is that God's plan is the one that will win us every game we play.  God has every quarter broken down, every toudown made, every pass delivered, and every play planned out.  All we have to do is listen to the coach and make sure we run with the ball when it's handed to us. 

       If you're sitting there yelling at the t.v. (God), telling it what you think should be happening, try sitting back sometime.  Just watch the game.  Enjoy it.  Try and figure out what the coach has prepared for your next move or figure out why he chose the play he did.  You might realize that it wasn't him calling an audible every time, but it was you who started giving all the commands. 

Chapter 2: Personal Training

August 20, 2011

CHAPTER 2:  Personal Training

          Who would've thought that I would write a chapter about personal training.  It's one of my biggest passions in life.  I've dedicated many hours to exercise and dieting.  Accomplishments, failures, I've even made the mistake of putting it first in my life.  Bad idea.  But that's another chapter.  So what is personal training?  Who can be a personal trainer?  What does it really take to be one?  Alot of you have been personal training and you don't even know it.  I myself have been personal training people for years now, in the exercise and fitness industry.  Granted there's absolutely no money to be made in the industry but hey, I like what I do.  So here's how it works.  New members that join a gym are granted a free session with a personal trainer (THAT'S ME) and we run through some of the basics of what would happen if they were to pay for training and take me on as there "leader" or so to say.  Let's take a second and actually think about that sentence.  People...pay me...to be there leader.  People actually trust me...that I have the knowledge and understanding of what I do and how to do it.  They believe that I am the answer to all of here problems.  Wow I feel powerful.  Anyway, moving on.  So these people come to me, and pay to use my knowledge.  So what do I do for these people?  Well first thing we usually go over is a diet and exercise routine that will fit to there lifestyle.  So on my own time, I make up an idividual diet plan and exercise routine for each specific person.  Next thing we do is we schedule out weekly appointments where they come in to the gym and we have a one-on-one training session that is usually way harder than what they would be doing on there own.
       This is how personal training works.  I give them all the necessary tools they need, diet plan, training routine, etc. and then we meet once or twice a week for actual training.
       Aside from personal training, there's another way that individuals can get with another person and workout just as they would with a personal training.  This would be known as a workout partner.  As a workout partner, you meet everyday at the gym, same time/same place, you do the same routines, you spot each other, motivate each other, learn from each other and do basically everything together.  Before you even know it, you have this connection with some guy you thought it would be cool to lift with cause he was bigger than you.  This connection may even lead to an out-of-the-gym friendship.  The connection you have inside the gym is so spot on that you guys know each other like the back of your hand.  It's a distinct relationship that noone else understands but you two.
      These two different forms of connections, whether it be personal training someone individually or having a workout partner, can be very easily compared to the relationships you have with everyone else, and more importantly, God himslef.  If you really thought about your connections with your friends or with Jesus Christ what would you categorize yourself as?  A personal trainer or a workout partner?  Do you go to church once a week because the Bible says so?  Do you read your bible on Sundays and put it away until the next?  Do you make it a habit to pray at night simply because....it's a habit? If you find yourself making it a habit to simply be with God, you might need to rethink your relationship with him.  If you find it difficult sometimes to have to go through this "routine" of "church, bible, prayer" every so often you may need to reasess your connection with the man above.  If there's not a fire burning inside you all the time making you just wanna praise God and want to learn more about him everyday, you need to get to that point.
       The same goes for the relationships you have with other people.  Let's say you're a youth leader or just a simple follower of God willing to do his works.  Do you think after reading what you've read that you are a personal trainer...or a workout partner?  Do you take people under your wings, give them all the necessary tools they need to follow God and then meet up once every sunday to see how they are doing?  Do you find yourself calling them up every once in a while to catch up on things?
      Ever since I started lifting, I've had dozens of workout partners that I've made good connections with.  I've also been personal training for a while now AND I've also been a "client" to other "personal trainers".  And even though this is how I make money, I still can't stand personal training, even more importantly, being a client to one.  There's no connection like there is with a workout partner.  You don't learn as much, there's no relationship, it's just not as fun.  And if you treat your relationship with Jesus Christ or your friends and family  like you do a personal trainer treats there clients, you might wanna slow your role, rethink a few things, and possibly even start from scratch.  God wants a deeper relationship with you.  Having a family involves having a very distinct relationship with each family member.  Friendships with other people require more than just a simple "hello" at church on sunday mornings, or a few back and forth text messages to catch up on things.  Go deeper with your relationships in life.  See where God can really take you and try to learn the real meaning of Gods definition of "relationships".

(**We all know God's thoughts on hypocracy.  Take care of your own problems before fixing someone else's.  I myself realize that I of all people shouldn't be preaching about relationships.  There are many in my own life that need to form before I go writing things about others fixing there own relationships with others.  And once I feel I have created my own relationships with others and my relationship with God is where it should be, I'll delete this paragraph.  But for now, I don't want anyone getting the wrong impression that I'm perfect or I have plenty of relationships with others.  So let this be a paragraph of understanding that I know that I may be somewhat of a hypocrite but I am working on it)

Chapter 1: My Calling

August 26, 2011

(yes, I wrote this chapter before the intro)

CHAPTER 1:  My Calling

       So I'm sitting here thinking that a good place to start would be Chapter one.  I mean, that's how all good books start right?  At the beginning?  At least that's what I've gotten from the books I've read.  Anyway, so I figured the best place to start would be with expressing what I believe my calling is from God.
       Now, remind you at this point in my life it's only been a few months since I've been saved so it's not like I have a 40-year plan allready mapped of where I'm headed.  But God does.  And that's all that matters.  All I can do is listen.  So what I actually thought of doing was to have an "updated" version of this chapter every few months or so, as you will see as you continue to read the chapters.
      So here we go.  My calling.  Gosh, I never knew it would be this hard to put it into words.  Let's get a few things straight first.  As I've stated earlier, I am no book writer.  I don't have a talent to write, I just simply write whatever comes to mind.  Now my brother, he can write.  If you're looking for something interesting to read, read his stuff, now that's cool stuff.  But I'm no writer.  I just believe that at this point in my life, writing things down is the best way for me to express my feelings for God, and if this is what he has called me to do for now, then I will do it.
       A litte side note, an interesting story that happened to me maybe no more than a week after I started my journey with God.  My buddy Dan had taken me to this church gathering that was just filled with hundreds, possibly thousands of people that were just on fire for God.  Remind you that I'm brand new to all this and had never experienced anything like this before.  And it was huge, I'm talking atomic bomb, huge.  Anyway, we got there, great music, great message, amazing group of people but what was funny was that at the end of the service, the speaker had everyone play this little "game".  We each grabbed a person we didn't know and the point was to tell each other what there plan was for doing Gods work over the next five to ten years.  So what happened was, when it was my turn, the only thing I had planned on doing was praying before going to bed that night.  Maybe brush my teeth and take a shower but that's about it.  There was no way I had the next five years of my life planned out.  So basically I looked like a "deer caught in the headlights" for a few minutes.  But hey, I was knew to the faith and my partner understood.  The most important thing to remember here is to not worry so much about the future.  Sometimes, even with God in our lives, all he wants us to do is experience his love.  Not worry about the future, or the bills, or even what your calling is.  Sometimes, God just wants us to experience his love.
       Now that it's been a while, and I've had an understanding of some of the few things God is calling me to do, I can finally express them into words.  At this point in my walk with Jesus, there are many unanswered questions and alot of unknown beliefs I have yet to learn.  But as far as what I've heard from God and what I've seen, I've gathered a few things together.  Biggest thing I've learned is, and we all know it to be the golden rule in the Bible, always make sure God is first in your life.  I've had many problems with this before and it was difficult giving up the things that I thought were most important to me.  But I gave them up, one at a time, and the blessings just started pouring.
       As for my calling, it is but a dirt road waiting to be paved.  But don't get me wrong, there is a road.  God has gifted me with TONS of talents.  Some I have passed up and forgotten about, some that I have used for the wrong reasons, and some that are still waiting to be released.  But that's all God needs you to realize.  He has a plan for each individual person but it's up to you to follow it.  What I've started to come to realize is that God gave me a very special gift.  One that actually took me AWAY from God in order to realize it (but that's a different chapter).  But what God has given me was the ability to be PASSIONATE.  Now this may seem like a weird gift to be given.  Usually you hear people say:  'I have a gift to teach the word of God' or 'I have a talent for music'.  And these were actually the talents I had been looking for when trying to figure out what mine really were.  But mine, mine was deeper than that.  Mine took a little bit more than just using the simple senses of sight or sound to figure out.  I actually had to....here it comes........THINK.   Oh my gosh, it hurt so bad to do that.  I actually had to....you know....think, in order to figure out what my talents were.
       What happened was, when I finally figured out what my talent was...'passion'...there was still one more problem--A passion for WHAT?  Oh great, more thinking.  (OWW).  Later on, I come to the realization that God didn't give me anything in specific to be passionate about.  He gave it to me to use in whatever way I wanted to use it.  His only guarantee he gave me was that whatever I was passionate about, I would be 100% passionate about it.  Not just some little speck of passion some people claim to have.  No.   God gave me a real PASSION for whatever I wanted.  Let me say that word just one more time...PAAAASSSIONNNN-UH.  That sounds awesome.
               So right now, what we have is a man that is on FIRE for God and a talent that we know now to be 'PASSION'.  So now what?  There's still that question and the whole reason behind this chapter...what the heck is this guy's calling?  Well, here's a little something to know about myself.  Growing up, I was never exactly the greatest kid in the world, but hey, who the heck ever is?  We all make mistakes right?  Well another "gift" that God gave me was the ability to make every WRONG decision possible. Ya, you read that correctly.  And I actually do view it as a gift.  Maybe not the gift of "messing up", but the gift of learning from my mistakes.  I happen to be one of three other brothers I have and there's no way in the world I could ever compare to how "good" they were growing up.  Never made a wrong decision before, never messed up or did anything bad.   It's like my brothers took all the good "decision-making" genes and I got left with making all the crappy decisions in life.  Thanks alot BROS.  What's good about this is that I actually learned to use this to my advantage.  You know that "learn from you failures" phase you hear people talk about alot, well it certainly worked for me.  I may have messed up alot but I made it a habit to learn from every screwed up decision I made.  It was another one of God's gifts that actually took me a while to figure out.  After years and years of constant failure, I was left with nothing but "first-hand experience" on the deepest, darkest times in every person's life.  And it was God's gift to me to go out into the world and just teach (if only I knew how to teach).
       So right now we have a fire-burning, passionate-filled, first-hand experienced young man who STILL hasn't given you his actual calling yet.  You wanna know what my calling is?  Guess what, it's the same as yours.  And your fathers.  And your mothers.  And your brothers and sisters and cousins and friends and EVERYONE else's in this world.

                              "GO AND MAKE DISCIPLES OF MEN"

BOOM!!!   

       It's everyone's calling.  It's Gods' message to EVERYONE.  E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E!!!  It doesn't even matter how you go about doing it.  Just make sure you do it.
      So here's an example of how it should look.  My 'CALLING' would be to use my 'FIRE-BURNING', 'PASSIONATE-FILLED' soul to keep on learning and studying the word of God and to go out into the world making disciples of men by giving them my FIRST-HAND EXPERIENCE with what I've been through, what I've learned along the way, and how I still continue to live a 'passionate' life for God.                                                  
                                          

So what's this book about anyway?

SO WHAT'S THIS BOOK ABOUT ANYWAY?

       Everyone in life has what is called a "testimony".  In a nutshell, a testimony is basically the way a Christian may come to know God.  What trials and tribulations they faced, the battles and and edurments they overcame.  Basically, a testimony is someone's life through words.  Although everyone is given a testimony, not everyone comes to realize it.  Like I said, a testimony is someone's life as they COME TO KNOW GOD.  Everyone is given one life.  But not everyone comes to know God.  This is what's known as a "christian testimony" and I'm so glad to say that I have one.  If you don't have one, I strongly urge you to get one, cause they're so cool.  It's the new thing that everyone is doing these days.  Seriously, they're wickedly cool.  If you don't believe me, you will by the end of this book.
       But that is what this book is about, my "christian testimony".  How I came to know God.  What I've been through, my trials and tribulations, what I've learned and the journey I've been on thus far.  Ya, it may get pretty boring at times to read but I promise I will do my best to make it as fun and exciting as possible.  And hopefully you will leave with the knowledge I have now (which isn't very much, but hey, you don't know that).
       Diving into the book a little bit deeper, each chapter has a message.  A message that is something that I have most likely learned from that I would like to pass on to all of you through a "devotional" type reading.  Although you may quickly realize that the way I write stories and "preach" a message is far from your "daily devotional".  Instead, I like to go the more personal route.  I'll get right up in your face if that's what it takes for you to learn.  I've been through the good, the bad and the ugly and I'd prefer if you all just went after the good.
       Aside from the individual chapters, you will read about certain parts in my life that have happened or I may be currently going through that I feel would be a good thing for you to read.  These are sometimes happy, sad, angry or depressing.  But all of which, lead up to who I am as a person and hopefully in the long run, may teach you a thing or two about life.
       Basically what I'm trying to say is, just be ready for absolutely ANYTHING that you read.  I can't predict what goes on in my head and once it's written, that's it.  I might go back and proofread for gramatical errors but that's it.  When I have an idea, I gotta write it down as fast as possible to not forget it.  So be prepared for the most wickedly awesome lessons and some out-of-this-world funny stories.  Just make sure you keep an open mind.  Other than that, you're only job now is to get started.  PEACE OUT.
                                        
                                             

PREFACE

September 1, 2011

PREFACE

                            (and don't skip it just cause it's a preface, it's important information)


        You know what the worst part about writing a book is...realizing that people won't actually be able to read it until it's finished (which is why I'm blogging it first).  This may seem like an obvious statement, but writers have the disadvantage of having to think that way.  See, I write and think in the present tense.  I don't plan ahead, I'm a guy.  This is why I date all of my entries.  Books are written so they can be read once they are finished.  So writters have to readjust the way they word certain stories to make it seem like it happened in the past rather than them being written as if they were happening "now".  Here's a short example:  It's been about four months since I've been saved (notice the date of the entry, so I was actually saved in May of 2011).  I couldn't really tell you the day, or the time, or where I was or how it even happened.  I just know it did.  Ever since then, I've lived my life for God.  A few ups and a few downs but still living strong through Christ.  I will say the road to actually get here wasn't so easy.  But we'll get to that later on.  First, a little about myself.  My name is Michael (obviously), I'm twenty-three years old and I live on my own.  I grew up in a very christian home with loving parents and a great family.  I'm one of four children, myself being the second.  I have two half brothers, both younger than I, and an older brother who I've always looked up to.  I wasn't exactly the easiest child to raise, but who is?  I've made my wrong decisions but I've moved on.  As of right now I'm currently serving in the military and have been for the past five years.  I've taken one tour overseas which I'm sure wont be my last.  As far as this book goes and where I got the idea, good question.  The past four months haven't been the easiest and up until recently, I never really felt that "burning sensation" or that "desire" for God that most people refer to as a "spritual high".  But something hit me recently that just lit me up.  I'm talkin' FIRED UP.  Like an atomic BOMB.  Oh yeah.  So I had this passion going on for me and I was just thinking "how could I possibly keep this feeling going forever"?  And then it just hit me.  Write a book.  Something that will take a long time to write, something I can put all my thoughts and everything I've been through on paper and just keep going strong.  So here I am.
I'm gonna go ahead and take a step back real quick...for all of those who are following.  Let's be serious...I'm not an author, nor a book writer, nor have I ever written anything that was worth reading.  My English papers may have all been A's but that's because my professor had no choice but to read them.  My life isn't really worth an entire book, maybe a chapter like one from the Bible but that's about it.  So instead, I've decided to be a little more...easy-going.  Rather than try to write a "book", I'm just going to go ahead and....well, write.  Not for anyone else but myself.  For those who follow, I can't say it's gonna be interesting, but it will be without a doubt a "Journey Through My Eyes".  And my eyes have most certainly seen alot, so you might just learn a thing or two. So, the biggest question I guess would be:  where to begin?
                                   
                             

NEED TO READ IT FROM THE BEGINNING?

If you have never read any of the chapters and would like to read this from the beginning, here is the entire book written from the start.

September 1, 2011

PREFACE

                            (and don't skip it just cause it's a preface, it's important information)


        You know what the worst part about writing a book is...realizing that people won't actually be able to read it until it's finished (which is why I'm blogging it first).  This may seem like an obvious statement, but writers have the disadvantage of having to think that way.  See, I write and think in the present tense.  I don't plan ahead, I'm a guy.  This is why I date all of my entries.  Books are written so they can be read once they are finished.  So writters have to readjust the way they word certain stories to make it seem like it happened in the past rather than them being written as if they were happening "now".  Here's a short example:  It's been about four months since I've been saved (notice the date of the entry, so I was actually saved in May of 2011).  I couldn't really tell you the day, or the time, or where I was or how it even happened.  I just know it did.  Ever since then, I've lived my life for God.  A few ups and a few downs but still living strong through Christ.  I will say the road to actually get here wasn't so easy.  But we'll get to that later on.  First, a little about myself.  My name is Michael (obviously), I'm twenty-three years old and I live on my own.  I grew up in a very christian home with loving parents and a great family.  I'm one of four children, myself being the second.  I have two half brothers, both younger than I, and an older brother who I've always looked up to.  I wasn't exactly the easiest child to raise, but who is?  I've made my wrong decisions but I've moved on.  As of right now I'm currently serving in the military and have been for the past five years.  I've taken one tour overseas which I'm sure wont be my last.  As far as this book goes and where I got the idea, good question.  The past four months haven't been the easiest and up until recently, I never really felt that "burning sensation" or that "desire" for God that most people refer to as a "spritual high".  But something hit me recently that just lit me up.  I'm talkin' FIRED UP.  Like an atomic BOMB.  Oh yeah.  So I had this passion going on for me and I was just thinking "how could I possibly keep this feeling going forever"?  And then it just hit me.  Write a book.  Something that will take a long time to write, something I can put all my thoughts and everything I've been through on paper and just keep going strong.  So here I am.
I'm gonna go ahead and take a step back real quick...for all of those who are following.  Let's be serious...I'm not an author, nor a book writer, nor have I ever written anything that was worth reading.  My English papers may have all been A's but that's because my professor had no choice but to read them.  My life isn't really worth an entire book, maybe a chapter like one from the Bible but that's about it.  So instead, I've decided to be a little more...easy-going.  Rather than try to write a "book", I'm just going to go ahead and....well, write.  Not for anyone else but myself.  For those who follow, I can't say it's gonna be interesting, but it will be without a doubt a "Journey Through My Eyes".  And my eyes have most certainly seen alot, so you might just learn a thing or two. So, the biggest question I guess would be:  where to begin?
                                  
                            

SO WHAT'S THIS BOOK ABOUT ANYWAY?

       Everyone in life has what is called a "testimony".  In a nutshell, a testimony is basically the way a Christian may come to know God.  What trials and tribulations they faced, the battles and and edurments they overcame.  Basically, a testimony is someone's life through words.  Although everyone is given a testimony, not everyone comes to realize it.  Like I said, a testimony is someone's life as they COME TO KNOW GOD.  Everyone is given one life.  But not everyone comes to know God.  This is what's known as a "christian testimony" and I'm so glad to say that I have one.  If you don't have one, I strongly urge you to get one, cause they're so cool.  It's the new thing that everyone is doing these days.  Seriously, they're wickedly cool.  If you don't believe me, you will by the end of this book.
       But that is what this book is about, my "christian testimony".  How I came to know God.  What I've been through, my trials and tribulations, what I've learned and the journey I've been on thus far.  Ya, it may get pretty boring at times to read but I promise I will do my best to make it as fun and exciting as possible.  And hopefully you will leave with the knowledge I have now (which isn't very much, but hey, you don't know that).
       Diving into the book a little bit deeper, each chapter has a message.  A message that is something that I have most likely learned from that I would like to pass on to all of you through a "devotional" type reading.  Although you may quickly realize that the way I write stories and "preach" a message is far from your "daily devotional".  Instead, I like to go the more personal route.  I'll get right up in your face if that's what it takes for you to learn.  I've been through the good, the bad and the ugly and I'd prefer if you all just went after the good.
       Aside from the individual chapters, you will read about certain parts in my life that have happened or I may be currently going through that I feel would be a good thing for you to read.  These are sometimes happy, sad, angry or depressing.  But all of which, lead up to who I am as a person and hopefully in the long run, may teach you a thing or two about life.
       Basically what I'm trying to say is, just be ready for absolutely ANYTHING that you read.  I can't predict what goes on in my head and once it's written, that's it.  I might go back and proofread for gramatical errors but that's it.  When I have an idea, I gotta write it down as fast as possible to not forget it.  So be prepared for the most wickedly awesome lessons and some out-of-this-world funny stories.  Just make sure you keep an open mind.  Other than that, you're only job now is to get started.  PEACE OUT.
                                       
                                            

August 26, 2011

(yes, I wrote this chapter before the intro)

CHAPTER 1:  My Calling

       So I'm sitting here thinking that a good place to start would be Chapter one.  I mean, that's how all good books start right?  At the beginning?  At least that's what I've gotten from the books I've read.  Anyway, so I figured the best place to start would be with expressing what I believe my calling is from God.
       Now, remind you at this point in my life it's only been a few months since I've been saved so it's not like I have a 40-year plan allready mapped of where I'm headed.  But God does.  And that's all that matters.  All I can do is listen.  So what I actually thought of doing was to have an "updated" version of this chapter every few months or so, as you will see as you continue to read the chapters.
      So here we go.  My calling.  Gosh, I never knew it would be this hard to put it into words.  Let's get a few things straight first.  As I've stated earlier, I am no book writer.  I don't have a talent to write, I just simply write whatever comes to mind.  Now my brother, he can write.  If you're looking for something interesting to read, read his stuff, now that's cool stuff.  But I'm no writer.  I just believe that at this point in my life, writing things down is the best way for me to express my feelings for God, and if this is what he has called me to do for now, then I will do it.
       A litte side note, an interesting story that happened to me maybe no more than a week after I started my journey with God.  My buddy Dan had taken me to this church gathering that was just filled with hundreds, possibly thousands of people that were just on fire for God.  Remind you that I'm brand new to all this and had never experienced anything like this before.  And it was huge, I'm talking atomic bomb, huge.  Anyway, we got there, great music, great message, amazing group of people but what was funny was that at the end of the service, the speaker had everyone play this little "game".  We each grabbed a person we didn't know and the point was to tell each other what there plan was for doing Gods work over the next five to ten years.  So what happened was, when it was my turn, the only thing I had planned on doing was praying before going to bed that night.  Maybe brush my teeth and take a shower but that's about it.  There was no way I had the next five years of my life planned out.  So basically I looked like a "deer caught in the headlights" for a few minutes.  But hey, I was knew to the faith and my partner understood.  The most important thing to remember here is to not worry so much about the future.  Sometimes, even with God in our lives, all he wants us to do is experience his love.  Not worry about the future, or the bills, or even what your calling is.  Sometimes, God just wants us to experience his love.
       Now that it's been a while, and I've had an understanding of some of the few things God is calling me to do, I can finally express them into words.  At this point in my walk with Jesus, there are many unanswered questions and alot of unknown beliefs I have yet to learn.  But as far as what I've heard from God and what I've seen, I've gathered a few things together.  Biggest thing I've learned is, and we all know it to be the golden rule in the Bible, always make sure God is first in your life.  I've had many problems with this before and it was difficult giving up the things that I thought were most important to me.  But I gave them up, one at a time, and the blessings just started pouring.
       As for my calling, it is but a dirt road waiting to be paved.  But don't get me wrong, there is a road.  God has gifted me with TONS of talents.  Some I have passed up and forgotten about, some that I have used for the wrong reasons, and some that are still waiting to be released.  But that's all God needs you to realize.  He has a plan for each individual person but it's up to you to follow it.  What I've started to come to realize is that God gave me a very special gift.  One that actually took me AWAY from God in order to realize it (but that's a different chapter).  But what God has given me was the ability to be PASSIONATE.  Now this may seem like a weird gift to be given.  Usually you hear people say:  'I have a gift to teach the word of God' or 'I have a talent for music'.  And these were actually the talents I had been looking for when trying to figure out what mine really were.  But mine, mine was deeper than that.  Mine took a little bit more than just using the simple senses of sight or sound to figure out.  I actually had to....here it comes........THINK.   Oh my gosh, it hurt so bad to do that.  I actually had to....you know....think, in order to figure out what my talents were.
       What happened was, when I finally figured out what my talent was...'passion'...there was still one more problem--A passion for WHAT?  Oh great, more thinking.  (OWW).  Later on, I come to the realization that God didn't give me anything in specific to be passionate about.  He gave it to me to use in whatever way I wanted to use it.  His only guarantee he gave me was that whatever I was passionate about, I would be 100% passionate about it.  Not just some little speck of passion some people claim to have.  No.   God gave me a real PASSION for whatever I wanted.  Let me say that word just one more time...PAAAASSSIONNNN-UH.  That sounds awesome.
               So right now, what we have is a man that is on FIRE for God and a talent that we know now to be 'PASSION'.  So now what?  There's still that question and the whole reason behind this chapter...what the heck is this guy's calling?  Well, here's a little something to know about myself.  Growing up, I was never exactly the greatest kid in the world, but hey, who the heck ever is?  We all make mistakes right?  Well another "gift" that God gave me was the ability to make every WRONG decision possible. Ya, you read that correctly.  And I actually do view it as a gift.  Maybe not the gift of "messing up", but the gift of learning from my mistakes.  I happen to be one of three other brothers I have and there's no way in the world I could ever compare to how "good" they were growing up.  Never made a wrong decision before, never messed up or did anything bad.   It's like my brothers took all the good "decision-making" genes and I got left with making all the crappy decisions in life.  Thanks alot BROS.  What's good about this is that I actually learned to use this to my advantage.  You know that "learn from you failures" phase you hear people talk about alot, well it certainly worked for me.  I may have messed up alot but I made it a habit to learn from every screwed up decision I made.  It was another one of God's gifts that actually took me a while to figure out.  After years and years of constant failure, I was left with nothing but "first-hand experience" on the deepest, darkest times in every person's life.  And it was God's gift to me to go out into the world and just teach (if only I knew how to teach).
       So right now we have a fire-burning, passionate-filled, first-hand experienced young man who STILL hasn't given you his actual calling yet.  You wanna know what my calling is?  Guess what, it's the same as yours.  And your fathers.  And your mothers.  And your brothers and sisters and cousins and friends and EVERYONE else's in this world.

                              "GO AND MAKE DISCIPLES OF MEN"

BOOM!!!   

       It's everyone's calling.  It's Gods' message to EVERYONE.  E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E!!!  It doesn't even matter how you go about doing it.  Just make sure you do it.
      So here's an example of how it should look.  My 'CALLING' would be to use my 'FIRE-BURNING', 'PASSIONATE-FILLED' soul to keep on learning and studying the word of God and to go out into the world making disciples of men by giving them my FIRST-HAND EXPERIENCE with what I've been through, what I've learned along the way, and how I still continue to live a 'passionate' life for God.                                                 
                                         

                                                                                                                                                   

August 20, 2011

CHAPTER 2:  Personal Training

          Who would've thought that I would write a chapter about personal training.  It's one of my biggest passions in life.  I've dedicated many hours to exercise and dieting.  Accomplishments, failures, I've even made the mistake of putting it first in my life.  Bad idea.  But that's another chapter.  So what is personal training?  Who can be a personal trainer?  What does it really take to be one?  Alot of you have been personal training and you don't even know it.  I myself have been personal training people for years now, in the exercise and fitness industry.  Granted there's absolutely no money to be made in the industry but hey, I like what I do.  So here's how it works.  New members that join a gym are granted a free session with a personal trainer (THAT'S ME) and we run through some of the basics of what would happen if they were to pay for training and take me on as there "leader" or so to say.  Let's take a second and actually think about that sentence.  People...pay me...to be there leader.  People actually trust me...that I have the knowledge and understanding of what I do and how to do it.  They believe that I am the answer to all of here problems.  Wow I feel powerful.  Anyway, moving on.  So these people come to me, and pay to use my knowledge.  So what do I do for these people?  Well first thing we usually go over is a diet and exercise routine that will fit to there lifestyle.  So on my own time, I make up an idividual diet plan and exercise routine for each specific person.  Next thing we do is we schedule out weekly appointments where they come in to the gym and we have a one-on-one training session that is usually way harder than what they would be doing on there own.
       This is how personal training works.  I give them all the necessary tools they need, diet plan, training routine, etc. and then we meet once or twice a week for actual training.
       Aside from personal training, there's another way that individuals can get with another person and workout just as they would with a personal training.  This would be known as a workout partner.  As a workout partner, you meet everyday at the gym, same time/same place, you do the same routines, you spot each other, motivate each other, learn from each other and do basically everything together.  Before you even know it, you have this connection with some guy you thought it would be cool to lift with cause he was bigger than you.  This connection may even lead to an out-of-the-gym friendship.  The connection you have inside the gym is so spot on that you guys know each other like the back of your hand.  It's a distinct relationship that noone else understands but you two.
      These two different forms of connections, whether it be personal training someone individually or having a workout partner, can be very easily compared to the relationships you have with everyone else, and more importantly, God himslef.  If you really thought about your connections with your friends or with Jesus Christ what would you categorize yourself as?  A personal trainer or a workout partner?  Do you go to church once a week because the Bible says so?  Do you read your bible on Sundays and put it away until the next?  Do you make it a habit to pray at night simply because....it's a habit? If you find yourself making it a habit to simply be with God, you might need to rethink your relationship with him.  If you find it difficult sometimes to have to go through this "routine" of "church, bible, prayer" every so often you may need to reasess your connection with the man above.  If there's not a fire burning inside you all the time making you just wanna praise God and want to learn more about him everyday, you need to get to that point.
       The same goes for the relationships you have with other people.  Let's say you're a youth leader or just a simple follower of God willing to do his works.  Do you think after reading what you've read that you are a personal trainer...or a workout partner?  Do you take people under your wings, give them all the necessary tools they need to follow God and then meet up once every sunday to see how they are doing?  Do you find yourself calling them up every once in a while to catch up on things?
      Ever since I started lifting, I've had dozens of workout partners that I've made good connections with.  I've also been personal training for a while now AND I've also been a "client" to other "personal trainers".  And even though this is how I make money, I still can't stand personal training, even more importantly, being a client to one.  There's no connection like there is with a workout partner.  You don't learn as much, there's no relationship, it's just not as fun.  And if you treat your relationship with Jesus Christ or your friends and family  like you do a personal trainer treats there clients, you might wanna slow your role, rethink a few things, and possibly even start from scratch.  God wants a deeper relationship with you.  Having a family involves having a very distinct relationship with each family member.  Friendships with other people require more than just a simple "hello" at church on sunday mornings, or a few back and forth text messages to catch up on things.  Go deeper with your relationships in life.  See where God can really take you and try to learn the real meaning of Gods definition of "relationships".

(**We all know God's thoughts on hypocracy.  Take care of your own problems before fixing someone else's.  I myself realize that I of all people shouldn't be preaching about relationships.  There are many in my own life that need to form before I go writing things about others fixing there own relationships with others.  And once I feel I have created my own relationships with others and my relationship with God is where it should be, I'll delete this paragraph.  But for now, I don't want anyone getting the wrong impression that I'm perfect or I have plenty of relationships with others.  So let this be a paragraph of understanding that I know that I may be somewhat of a hypocrite but I am working on it)

                                                                                                                                       October 19, 2011

Chapter 3:  Don't YELL at the T.V.

So it's been a little while since I've seen the family and one Sunday afternoon my brother tells me that they're having a get-together for the fam.  So I decided to go.  I mean who could pass up a good old fashioned Browns game and a free meal (granted they were guaranteed to lose from the beginning), I just go for the company.  I showed up a little after the game had begun but I was the first to arrive so I didn't mind.  What's funny was what happened before I even entered my brothers apartment.  I walk up to his place and right before I go to knock on the door I hear a loud voice: 

      

           "OH MY GOSH, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?"     

         I stopped for a second and thought--uh oh, are him and the wife having a fight?  Did I come at a bad time? Should I wait to walk in?  But then I continued to listen and heard the rest of his rant--

           "CATCH THE BALL!" 

        (relieved)  Ok, so he's probably not talking to the wife...unless of course they're practicing for next months Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl.  So I then determined he must be yelling at the T.V.  I decide to knock in hopes not to get a "GO AWAY".  And to my surprise it was my brother who preceeded to answer the door.  A few minutes pass and the greetings are over....until all of the sudden...

         "YOU MISSED THE TACKLE BY A MILE, OH MY GOSH!" 

        At this point, I'm getting a little afraid for my life wondering if this cooped up aggresion coming from my brother would soon turn on me.  Yet, the wife kindly assured me that this tyrant of anger is unleashed every Sunday during every Browns game. 

        Low and behold for the next hour and a half the whole family would hear random bursts of outrage from my brother screaming at a television set in hopes that the players would do what he says.  What I thought was funny was the fact that by the end of the game, where all hope was basically lost, the bro would have allready started chearing against his own team in utter sarcasm.  I would hear random bursts of such phrases like:

          "GOOD JOB, WAY TO MISS THE BALL"-- or -- "HEY NICE FUMBLE CLEVELAND, YOU SHOULD DO ANOTHER JUST LIKE IT." 

        I actually find these acts of, what I call insanity, to be quite ammusing.  Here I sit watching my brother yell at a T.V. screen.  I just want to tell him that no matter how loud you yell, or how knowledgable in football you may be, they won't be able to hear you.  They had a plan going into the game and they stuck with it.  Granted there plan always seems to never workout but hey, that's Cleveland sports for ya. 

       Sometimes in life, there are times when we so frustrated with God because he just doesn't seem to deliver our plans that we had.  I can definetly say for myself that I have gotten upset with God simply because I thought I had this great "gameplan" made out for my life yet he wouldn't give me the ball and let me run with it.  I would constantly yell at him saying what I thought to be the best play to run yet it just felt like God would always call an audible (in football, this would be considered a quick change in the play the team is about to run).   What we don't realize is that God's plan is the one that will win us every game we play.  God has every quarter broken down, every toudown made, every pass delivered, and every play planned out.  All we have to do is listen to the coach and make sure we run with the ball when it's handed to us. 

       If you're sitting there yelling at the t.v. (God), telling it what you think should be happening, try sitting back sometime.  Just watch the game.  Enjoy it.  Try and figure out what the coach has prepared for your next move or figure out why he chose the play he did.  You might realize that it wasn't him calling an audible every time, but it was you who started giving all the commands. 

                                                                                                                                       October 28, 2011

Chapter 4:  There's Never Enough 'TIME'

      
       Do you fear DEATH?

(Wow, geez Mike, way to start off the chapter strong)

Ya, I know.  But really though...Do you fear DEATH? 

(This is the part where you answer in your head 'yes' or 'no')

Does a cold shiver run up your spine when you read that word?  Do you totally forget the meaning of the word and just keep reading the words I write? 

STOP!

Think...

Do you....fear....DEATH?

I know it's something you don't wanna think about because it really is scary and who the heck wants to think about it anyway?  So right now, I'm gonna kinda vier off the subject of....you know...and tell a litte story. 

I remember when we were kids.  My brothers and I.  And boy were we a prime example of your typical "children".  We could find ways to fight about ANYTHING. 

Brother 1:  "Hey guys, let's go downstairs and play."

Brother 2:  "NO, let's go play in the living room."

Brother 3:  "NOOO, let's go upstairs and play."

Brothers 1+2:  "WE DON'T EVEN HAVE AN UPSTAIRS!"

       See, we could turn ANYTHING into a fight.  We were your typical...boys.  And with each group of typical children, usually comes a typical "mom".  These mothers usually have a good understanding of how children usually act, especially three boys, and knows how to raise them.  Well our mother, like ourselves, was a PRIME example of the "typical mom" who knew exactly how to raise three "typical boys" correctly.  It's like she had done this in a past life or something and now she knows every move we make and every bad thing we do.  We never got away with ANYTHING.  Sometimes she even knew the bad decisions I would make before I even make them.  CRAAAZZZYYY.  That's our mother.  And we learned this part about her very quickly from all the times we got in trouble.  And I'm talking on like, a daily basis this would happen.  I mean she was soon known as "the punisher" from all of what we had done.  And boy were we afraid of her. 

       I remember this one specific time, me and my bros came home after school one day.  We usually had a couple hours of playtime before "the punisher" came home to tell us to go do our homework.  These times usually consisted of as much playtime as possible.  This one specific time, we had decided to play video games.  And of course, we took up a half hour of our time fighting over which game to play.  But in the end we decided on 'Crash Bandicoot'.  What we usually would do is after each person dies, one of us would hand over the controller to the other.  I remember it was my older brother's turn and being the bigger, older brother that he was, he decides to break the rules and do his own thing.  HE SKIPS A TURN.  

(No, no way, that aint gonna happen.  It's MY turn.  Just cause you suck at playing don't mean you get another chance) 

Ya, that's exactly what I was thinking to myself.  It aint happenin' bro.  Yet he continues to keep the controller to himself to the point where all of the sudden....

BOOM!!!

       I had wound up...and without any thought...without any hesitation...I had swung.  With every bit of power I had.  I nailed my brother right in the stomach and knocked him on the ground.  Boy, did he look like he was in pain.  And do you wanna know what my first thought was?  I'll be honest, I was very scared.  Here's my brother, lying on the ground....in PAIN...from my hands.  And my first thought was.........the "PUNISHER'S" COMING HOME!  Oh my gosh, mother would be home in minutes.  What would I do?  Run away from home?  Cover up the crime scene?  Wish that my brother would stop balling his eyes out over a wimpy hit?  I was afraid for MY life...not the one lying on the ground.  The pain I caused my brother was nothing compared to what was going to happen once mother came home.  And I remember the first words that came outa my mouth once I had commited the crime:

"Oh crap, Matt......please don't tell mom".

Ya, some brother I am (but I guess that made up for the time he kicked me so hard I almost hit the ceiling...no joke).  And of course, to finish up the story, let's just say I saw a new side of the punisher I had never seen before. 

       So, back to the real topic at hand.  Do you fear death?  I know I most certainly did when I had to tell my mother what I had done to my brother. 

       So here are the facts:  We've all been given one life.  Within that life, eighty years, roughly, some shorter than others.  This means you have eighty years to do what you gotta do and get outa here.  What, that's it?  Yeah, that's it.  Everything you wanna do in eighty years.  Well geez that's not enough time.  I still gotta finish up college, and go to Hawaii, and buy a house, and get married,and have kids,andgetmydreamjob, andgotodisneyworld,andspendallmymoneyonworthlessstuff. 

       Well then you better get a move on it. 

-OR-

       So you say "there's never enough time" right? 

       That's funny.  I just recently watched a movie called 'In Time'.  Pretty good flick.  The plot basically described what it would be like in a world where everything was 'bought' with TIME.  Think about that.  You want a coffee?  Two minutes...off your life.  You want to go somewhere?  It'll cost you your time. 

       But is it really that important?  "Time", that is.  Is it really important that we go about our days wondering if we have enough time to do this, or do that.  Who said that for one second you can't just stop.  Breathe.  Relaaaxxx. 

      I've been recently a little stressed out lately.  I just can't seem to get my priorities straight.  Work, school, this, that.  I wasn't made to handle all this.  There's just too much going on and my mind just isn't fast enough to keep up with everything.  It's as if there's not enough 'TIME' in the day to do everything I need to do.  I'd be late to work one day, or late to school the next.  Or forget something one day when I needed it yesterday.  "Where on earth can I find more time"? 

       There actually is an answer to that question.  But I don't think you're quite ready for it. 

       In the society we live in nowadays, it's very hard to find time to just sit back and take a little break from life.  It almost seems as if technology is moving too fast for itself.  We all wonder why old people drive slow, or why they have that slow mind, or why the heck they are just plain old "slow".  It's because they simply grew up where not everything moved this fast.  It didn't have to.  Life ran just great when you had to walk instead of drive, or make dinner instead of order fast food. It's was almost as if the "clock" actually ticked slower back then than it does now.  But it hasn't.  The clock still clicks at the same pace it always has.  So how the heck did those old people actually live without a cell phone?  Or a.....computer.  Shoot, how the heck would I even write this blog if I didn't have a computer?  It's strange to think about sometimes whether or not technology has brought a good thing to this world or if someday it will backfire on itself. 

      

       So do you still fear DEATH?  I knew I'd catch you offguard with that.  Here's a better question:  why do you fear something that's inevitable?  Think about it because, with TIME, comes DEATH.  These are both two things that you can not, and will never be able to control.  You can not stop time, you can not cheat death.  Instead, why not focus on the things that you CAN control.  Let's take a closer look:

DEATH=80years(time).  80years=29200days=700800hours=42048000minutes=2522880000seconds.

That's some math equation.  And you're tellin me you don't have enough time?  Have you ever thought about 'Hey, maybe it's not about having enough time'.  Well then what's it about? 

       Good question.  Since death is inevitable, and time cannot be altered or messed with, what is it that we can do to make our lives worth it?  I mean is it really all that fun being stressed out all the time, going from job to job, hopefully doing well enough just to make it by in life?  Would you really feel comfortable saying that at the end of your life, when you look back on everthing that you've done, everything that you're doing, what you're going through right now, do you really think you'd be able to say:  "yeah, I'm happy with the life I've lived". 

       If you really think that there's not enough time to do the things you wanna do, maybe you're trying to do the wrong things.  If you're trying to finish up everything before the time runs out, you need to re-think your strategy.  Because if you think that the purpose of life is to live for eighty years and try and get as much as you can in it that you can cram in, then maybe what you really need to do is feel what its like to only have a little time left.  That's when they say you figure out the truth about life. 

       If you really wanna know the truth about what it's like to be in a timeless world, go away.  Really, get out of here.  Go to a place where there are no clocks.  Go somewhere where there's absolutely no technology controlling you.  A place where death doesn't scare you.  Then you'll realize that it's not the fear of death or the lack of time you have in this world, it's about what you were meant to do with the time that is given to you.  And that's how you live a fearless life, in a timeless world.